Do you want the truth about my infertility and how I’m doing with it? Do you wonder whats going on with ‘us’? Do you think about how I feel about all the pregnancies around me? If you answered yes, keep reading. I promise to try to keep it light. (ps. I’m on day two of Clomid. I refer to this week as the Clomid Crazies because emotions can not be controlled.
- I am not mad at you, I am sad for me. I can’t tell you how many people around me are pregnant right now. And no, it’s not because I’m overly aware. It is in the water but I’m drinking from a different faucet. Am I envious? You bet your damn pants off I am! Do I want to hear about your pregnancy and how you are decorating your nursery..YES! If I love you, I’m going to love the baby you are carrying. Will I occasionally skip a baby shower, also yes, but I will still buy you something nice. I would also suggest telling your infertile friend you are pregnant outside of social media. She will appreciate hearing the news from you. She most likely won’t cry in front of you but she will probably cry alone. And that is ok.
2. Please don’t say “when you are a mom/pregnant you will understand ‘blank’. Thanks for the reminder that I am not part of this super exclusive club. Also for me its an extra insult as I was a mom for two years. I didn’t birth a baby and change diapers but we did fully care for two children through foster care so I understand a little bit about parenting. Remember I am hopped up on fertility meds that make me a little more sensitive than I used to be.
3. I have an actual medical problem. We are “doing it right”. Getting drunk and having a wild night isn’t going to fix the problem. I can’t “just relax”. Actually I’m more relaxed than I was before I knew I had a problem because my expectations are lower. While I appreciate your advice, your sisters friends cousins fertility issues aren’t the same as mine. There can be soooo many issues and almost no two people are the same. I am seeing a great doctor who I trust and is helping us make the best decisions for us.
4. Enjoy your pregnancy. Enjoy being a mom. Is it uncomfortable and hard sometimes, yes, I’m sure it is. But remember who you are talking to would give everything to be uncomfortable, have stretch marks and heartburn or a sleepless night from a colicky baby. Can you vent to me sometimes still? Again, yes. Talk to me, just don’t complain the whole time 😉
5. I think, pray, and dream about being a mommy…EVERY SINGLE DAY. Many times a day. Everything I do comes after the thought of if and when. I don’t know where this road will take us and what avenue will make us parents, but please don’t judge whatever path that may be. IUI, IVF, adoption, surrogacy and foster care are all acceptable ways to become a parent.
6. You can ask me where we stand in our journey and treatments. I will always be open and honest. Please DO NOT ask me every two weeks if I’m pregnant yet. When I am I will be shouting it from the rooftops! PROMISE!
Here I am before our first IUI trying to stay positive..